Even though it's normal to ask yourself whether you are trans enough, you should learn how to accept yourself fully. How? Click here and find out!
Have you ever thought about not being trans enough? Or this idea is alien to you? If you have never faced it – you are so lucky! Unfortunately, many transgender people must live with this question haunting them. One of the biggest problems why FTM people meet this issue – too many myths and opinions about what a "real" trans should look and act like. Other people and the environment of trans person plays a huge role on their journey as a transgender. What is the best response to all these people? How should you rid of these ridiculous thoughts about whether or not you are trans enough?
It is totally normal and understandable not to be completely sure about your gender identity. This is definitely complicated to map out your own thoughts and feelings about who you truly are. You should never feel bad about being not sure. Despite all the doubts – if you feel like you are transgender, you are transgender. It is absolute doesn't matter how much you look as transgender to others. The one and only thing you should be sure about – being trans are not what you do about that, it is the internal sense of self and the relationship you have with yourself. Do you think you are trans? Yes! You are!
ARE THERE ANY REQUIREMENTS FOR MY LOOK AS A TRANS?
No. Definitely no. There is no existing picture or example how the "real" trans should look like. As I have mentioned before, the most important point is to feel yourself like a trans. Your gender is not a topic to be talked about. Your gender is yours and does not belong to anybody. People should not discuss your look because this is not their business. You should feel comfortable with yourself. There are no rules such as FTM people must have short hair, or FTM people can't wear dresses or skirts. Sometimes people who should support and even understand you (e.g., other transgender people) are inclined to judge your look and may call you too feminine, not trans enough. People often believe they have the right to express their opinion even nobody has asked. You should understand that you are free to express yourself in your way and there is no need to try to please other people. Remember, no matter what you do – you will never be perfect, in their opinion. Do you really want to spend your life thinking about what others think? I guess, your answer is no.
DO I NEED MEDICAL INTERVENTION?
Medical intervention does not mean you are "a real" transgender. Begin this kind of procedure or not is only your decision. Not all transgender people are feeling the need for medical intervention. There is no point in doing something you think is not necessary for you. Besides, other people often try to tell their opinion about things that are not related to them. Never forget, that you are the only one who decides what is necessary for you. Only you can tell what do you want. The best what you can do is not to pay any attention to what other people are talking about. Sometimes this is not as easy as it looks to ignore all the information you get from others, but believe me – this is the only way to stay an independent and free person with your own opinion and your own decisions. If you don't want to have surgery, that is totally fine. If you are happy with your look, this is perfect. Medical intervention does not mean you will become "more" transgender or "real" trans. If you feel yourself being trans there is no need to make any medical interventions. You are trans.
THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO BE TRANS
Being transgender is not a competition. Our society is full of different people who have totally different experiences in their lives. There is no such thing as being "a real" or "less real" transgender. There is nothing wrong to start your own journey as a trans person. You are free to feel different feelings, be certain and uncertain again about something, change your look with medical intervention, or do not change it at all. Your identity is yours and no one else. Other people can't know you better than you know yourself.
We have so many angry and disappointed people around us, who are ready to make you feel bad about your choices, actions, looks, words, and all the rest things you are related to. Don't give them your energy! Show them that you are listening only to yourself. Your gender, your identity is not a topic for discussion. You are totally free to create your own happiness. Your story is not everyone's story.
A lot of transgender people feel not being "trans enough". If there would be more respect from other, even transgender, people, everybody could live their truth and there would be fewer issues in coming out journey.
YOU ARE TRANS ENOUGH
One of the main things considered about this topic – your relationship with yourself and understanding who you truly are. There are so many ways to be trans and to express yourself as a transgender. There is no right or wrong way of being trans. Do you think you are trans? Yes! You definitely are. Do other people accuse you of not being trans enough? Just smile and leave them without any answer. They are not right, but you are. You and your body are not a topic for any kind of discussion, especially about your gender or your gender identity. You are not sure who you truly are? You can always experiment with your gender identity. You are free to use a new name, a new pronoun, a new type of clothes or make-up. It is always useful to try new things and see what works for you and what doesn't.
You should definitely try different kinds of things that make you feel well and comfortable in your own body. Always think about yourself, your personal needs, feelings, and your mental health. If you feel good in your own skin and you think that you are trans – you truly are. Remember, there is no wrong way of being trans and no matter what other people say or think.